I had a dream the day before yesterday.
I do not remember the exact details anymore. But. I do remember that in that dream, I was loved. Loved in the way I want to be.
With respect, admiration, friendship and just pure loyalty you know?
That person in the dream put me before anyone else and I did the same in return and for a short night that dream world was ours to live in.
Waking up felt like losing a part of myself. As if some piece of my heart had been left behind to forever slumber with that temporary dream.
The reason it felt so bad waking up is because it feels like I will never have this connection with anyone. There is no one who can really understand this, this longing that I feel for genuine love.
There will be no one who will be just and truly mine. Mine to love or be loved by.
Mind you, you've caught me at a weak moment. I am usually not like this. I love life and I love myself and I am satisfied with my life but even I have my down days.
It feels like I am waiting. Always waiting. For someone to recognize me. To love me as I know I would love them. With obsession. With possession.
Maybe I will always be waiting. Who knows?
My heart is a lighthouse at a lonely shore, waiting for a ship to stumble upon its light.