There's an itch underneath my skin.
Its in my head. Its also in my hands and my heart. It etches "you will never be good enough" into my being over and over again.
I finished crocheting a sleeveless top today. It looks good. I think it fits well too.
Wait no it doesn't. Its just a little loose and not fitted like regular tops
I'm proud of it.
I'm hate it.
I can't bear that its not perfect.
It NEEDS to be perfect. It just does. I pour my time and soul into what I create and it is never good enough.
I see other people's gorgeous works and I hate myself. I'm never going to be the best at anything.
I will always be average at anything I try. I will never be good enough. That is what my mind tells me.
I want to create a masterpiece. Something that shuts up the voice in my head telling me that I will never create something beautiful or praise-worthy.
I want to be capable of it. Am I? Will I ever be?
Today is not a good day for my mental stability lmao